Real
by vampire princess33
Summary: Slight GilxOz yaoi. Set after Oz, Gil and Alice find retreat in Ludwige Academy in order to escape from Pandora and the Baskervilles. Oz is distressed after he has learnt about his past from 100 years ago, Gil is there to comfort him.


**A/N: Slight GilxOz yaoi. Set after Oz, Gil and Alice find retreat in Ludwige Academy in order to escape from Pandora and the Baskervilles.**

**Oz is distressed after he has learnt about his past from 100 years ago, Gil is there to comfort him.**

**Rated T for angst and suicidal tendencies.**

**Also, I hope Jun Mochizuki will find a way to give my poor Gil his arm back.**

**And isn't the stuffed rabbit Oz was just adorable?**

**Read and Review, it means a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts. I just love messing with the characters' heads.**

**Real**

Gilbert woke up in the dead of night, swearing that he had heard a wailing sound that had disturbed the silence of the night and had dragged him out of sleep.

For a moment he remained perfectly still, straining his ears to catch the sound again, but he was only met by silence.

Still, Gil was sure that he had not dreamt of those choked sobs and the soft weeping- as if the one who cried tried to do it as quietly as possible so as not to draw anyone's attention towards him.

He waited for a few more moments, and at first he was met only by a silence that seemed to taunt him and tell him everything had been just a trick of his tired, clouded from slumber mind.

Then, Gil heard the sound once again.

_Definitely weeping,_ he decided and with a muffled from the pillow sigh, he sat up and got out of bed.

They were staying at Ludwige Academy, he, Oz and was the only safe place for them to go since both Pandora and the Baskervilles were looking for Oz, but now Gilbert felt odd walking all alone in the school's dark corridors.

It was cold and Gil, wearing only his nightgown, shivered slightly.

However, he didn't have to walk long in order to identify the source of the sound.

He heard it once again, now resembling more shaky breaths as if someone was in great pain, but it was unmistakably the same sound that had awoken Gil moments ago.

And it was coming from Oz's room.

For an instance, Gil bent his forehead against the wooden door, trying to gather his courage.

Ever since they had returned to the Academy and Oz had woken up from his unconsciousness, Gil was waiting for his young master to break down under the weight of the revelations that changed everything he had known in his whole life.

He knew it wasn't easy for Oz even though the blond boy was particularly good at hiding his true feelings during the day.

But at nights, Gil had been visiting Oz in order to make sure he was alright, and after a few times this happened, Oz had dismissed his servant and his concerns about him, laughing and telling him that Gil was worrying too much.

Now, Gilbert was afraid that the break down everyone had been expecting from Oz had finally come.

Gil slowly opened the door to his master's bedroom. He almost wished he was wrong about the sound coming from that room and that Oz was soundly sleeping in his bed, but when Gil's eyes searched the room, he saw that Oz wasn't sleeping at all.

The blond boy sat in the middle of his bed, the sheets tossed carelessly aside, and he was hugging himself, pressing his knees close to his body as if he tried not to fall apart.

''Oz'', Gil said softly, not wanting to startle his young master, but he froze in midstep.

It was Oz's gaze, the haunted look into his eyes that scared Gil and made him pause where he was standing.

Then, Gll's eyes fell on an object next to Oz's coiled up body and he ran towards the bed, snatching the bloody razor away from him.

''Oz!'', Gil said again, trying to keep his voice low and controlled, but nevertheless panic was filling him.

Oz's eyes stared blankly ahead as if he was not seeing his servant or anything at all, and Gil tried to shake him and pull him out of his oblivion.

The raven-haired man wrapped his hands around Oz's wrist, but he immediately drew back and at first he couldn't understand what was the cause of the wetness he felt on his glove-clad hands and...the red paint?

Gil felt like the universe took a slow turn around him, and then the razor and the bleeding scratches on Oz's wrists finally made sense.

Oz had been cutting himself.

Oz turned to look at Gilbert as if he had just realised the raven's presence and he gave him a strained, blank smile.

'' I wanted to see how much it would hurt. I wanted to see if I was Real, but does the pain make me Real?'', Oz asked, uttering each word slowly and carefully, pausing momentary before the word real.

Gilbert understood. After all it had been only days since Oz had learnt that the first time his conscience had awoken and he was able to have a self he hadn't been Oz Vessalius, but simply Oz, a rabbit plushie, and then, later, Oz, the B-Rabbit.

Gil knew this revelation along with Jack's lies hurt Oz more than he let show, but he would never have imagined Oz would do something like that, cause pain to himself so that he would not have to burden others with his existence and his problems.

Slowly, hesitantly, Gil took hold of Oz's hands once again, avoiding touching the red scratches on his wrists and told Oz, making him look into his eyes.

''Your past doesn't make you Real or Fake. Your self, your choices, the person you want to be and the people that love you make you Real, Oz. When we first met I had no memory of my past, and yet you accepted me and made me feel like I belonged. You made me Real'' Gil said, his voice low with emotions, and he saw a spark in Oz's eyes, as though the blond desperately wanted to believe in the raven's words.

Then, however, Oz averted his gaze and wore the same lost and detached expression once again.

Gil felt like he had to do something in order to pull his master out of his distress, like it was his responsibility to bring Oz's hope and will to live back.

And then the raven did something that astonished Oz but also stunned himself.

Gil shifted closer to Oz on the bed and placed a soft, quick kiss on Oz's lips.

When he drew back, both of them were blushing and Oz was touching his lips where the warmth of the raven's kiss still lingered with something like wonder.

'' You certaintly _feel_ Real'', Gil said flushed, not daring to meet the blond boy's eyes.

But when he felt a cool palm being pressed flat against his cheek and turned around, Gil was elated to see the old brightness he loved so much back into Oz's eyes.

'' You may be right that I am Real, but you also might be wrong. It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that I will be the one who decides it and not anyone else.''

Gil was relieved. Oz let him take care of the injuries he had caused to himself while overtook by his misery, seeming slightly ashamed, but the dark-haired servant just smiled reassuringly at him and Oz smiled back, his off behaviour and the sombre shadow on his face having disappeared by the time Gil tucked him into bed.

The raven was ready to leave, but then Oz tugged at the sleeve of his nightgown as if to keep him there.

''Thanks Gil. It means a lot to me. But I won't stop fighting even though now I know what my sin is.'', Oz said, squeezing Gil's hand for an instance before he let go of him.

''Goodnight, Oz. I'm proud of you.'' Gil said, leaving behind him a slightly surprised Oz that was unconsciously still touching his lips.


End file.
